A few weeks ago I bought a tub of hummus that came with a few toppings that you add in yourself. I don’t normally buy that kind of stuff but it was on sale and you know, had to try it. Turns out the hummus was good on it’s own so the toppings never got mixed in. They did get eaten though, just as sandwich spreads. One of the toppings that it came with was olive tapenade and let me tell you, the mr ate the shit out of it. Yes we love olives in this house (I hated olives unit one magical day a few years ago and now I freaking love them) but it has been so long since I have done much more then throw a few on a pizza or into a salad or just eat then straight. Now, well now we have to have olive tapenade on hand at all times. Spreadable, blop-able olives. Good on us.
This olive tapenade is the simplest as simple can get. Basic canned black olives, a little garlic, a splash of oil to make it a little more spreadable, and some lemon juice. I know that some tapenades call for fresh herbs, maybe nuts, or some other stuff, and by all means that is good too, but there is no shade in going simple. Simple taste damn good.
Now to the olive tapenade.
The stuff. A can of pitted black olives, a couple cloves of garlic (raw or roasted) a little olive oi, and a lemon.
Place olives (make sure there are no surprise pits), chopped up garlic, about half a lemons worth or juice, and oil into a food processor or a jar (if using a hand blender) and blend until combined. Keep as chunky or go as smooth as you like. We like smooth with a few little chunks.
And that is it. You now eat it, any way you want. The mr really likes his olive bread toast situations, as for me, I like it on salads, used as veggie dip, or eaten straight from jar with a finger. Just living my truth.
-C
Black Olive Tapenade
makes a hefty cup of tapenade
1 can pitted black olives
2 cloves garlic (raw or roasted)
1 teaspoon-1 tablespoon olive oil
a lemon (optional)
Stain olives from liquid, check for any stray pits, and place in a food processor or jar (if using a hand blender) along with the garlic, the lesser amount of oil, and a squeeze of lemon. Pulse or blend until spreadable and leave as chunky or go as smooth as you would like. Taste and add more lemon juice and or olive oil to your liking.
Eat it up with chips, bread, on salads or pastas. And yea spoonfuls to the mouth. Any left over store in a airtight jar in fridge for a week or so.
I love mustard, and when I say love, I mean LOVE. I eat it on anything and everything. And not just small quaintites, I buy jumbo sized containers of the stuff because I go through it so fast. Over the past few years I even started taking down others with my mustard eating obsession. Sisters, brothers, even some of the littles are now mustard eating feens. One of my little nieces is now just as bad as me. I don't think I have seen her eat a single meal without a side of mustard. Her favorite snack, clementines and mustard, although sometimes she skips the clementines and just goes in with her fingers. Oh so good. I think that child could possible be mine. 
Yellow mustard seeds, brown mustard seeds, apple cider vinegar and salt. The most basic ingredients.
In a large jar, combine the mustard seed , twice as much vinegar and a pinch of salt. Cover and let sit for on the counter overnight until the seeds have soften and look almost like caviar. 
Now blend those seeds. You might want to add another splash or two of vinegar to help blend and to thin out a bit. Chose how creamy or seeded you like you mustard. I like to make it creamy but seedy so I blend it half way to creamy. 
You have got mustard! Make sure you have a good snack ready to eat with it.. My go to is carrots. I could eat this all day long.